The presence at home of a carer instead of a family member may, in many cases, upset an elderly person and generate feelings of anxiety and disappointment. It could be that your loved one understands that they need help and, as a result, feels very vulnerable and ashamed. It is very often the case that elderly people may feel that they have become a burden or that their loved ones no longer love them and have introduced a stranger into the household to care for them.

What could truly help would be for you to explain to your loved one that it is you who need someone to help you around the house and, as an afterthought, also help them, if there is a need. In this way you will also give them time to get used to the presence of someone new in the house.

Show them that you love them and that you care for their wellbeing. Listen carefully to their fears and worries, trying not to be critical. It’s not always easy, but try to put yourself in their shoes.